I wish I could order a transcript of each day with Lucia. She says so many beautiful, interesting, smart, silly things, and I always think I'm going to remember and write them down later. But then life piles up all around, and I forget. Here are a few that I'd scribbled on various scraps of paper and sticky notes.
While gorilla watching at the Bronx Zoo the other day I commented that it was easy to see how closely related we are to gorillas. Lucia said, "And I also like to think about how we're actually related to every living thing on Earth."
I have a talent for finding objects misplaced by my family members: keys, books, shoes, etc. Lucia said, "How do you do that? I wish it were in the genes. Then maybe I'd have the same ability."
Lucia said, "If I were a dog, what breed of dog would I be?" Then, after a moment of reflection she followed it up with, "There's probably a quiz for that on Facebook."
Nick collects pieces of metal. He's got this one piece hanging on the wall in his office that's shaped like the silhouette of a headless pig. While gazing at it one day Lucia said in a dreamy sort of voice, "I think that pig must have ventured into a guillotine."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Nurse Gatsby
Lucia is sick in bed today with a fever of 103, and I just had to share this photo - a concerned Gatsby is holding vigil at her feet.
Garden Progress
I took these pictures last week, and they're already out of date. Nick's guard rails have been painted, the delphinium is in full bloom, the lilies have opened, and many of the vegetables have big open flowers. It's amazing how the garden changes in just a few days' time. I'll have to post a second set for before and after comparison...Anyway, above you see some of Lucia's chalk art on the patio stones that we've finally finished laying.
Gatsby contemplates the seemingly endless rain - there's finally some real sun today!
Here you see the hole in the ground (left of Lucia) that's going to function as a fire pit. And behind and to the right of Lucia Nick is working on a fountain.
These railings are Nick's creative solution to the dogs trampling all my plants.
Lucia's pole beans.
Fava bean flowers.
Our first tomato - there are many more out there now.
Beautiful little flowers on the bolted lettuce.
gagutz!
In previous years these lily buds have been nothing more than a deer snack - always a big disappointment as lilies are my favorite flower. But this year they're behind the fence and safe from hungry marauders.
And speaking of marauders, we've had a young visitor lately. He was attracted to our bird feeders and refused to be scared away, even with four dogs barking and four kids screaming from the windows. He was back again yesterday, and I managed to frighten him off this time by yelling and throwing rocks (couldn't bring myself to actually hit the poor thing, however). I'm hoping this little guy will learn some sense!Thursday, June 18, 2009
Turtle Therapy
I've been feeling kind of down lately - I don't even like to write that because I have so little patience for myself when I feel this way. I know I have every reason to be happy, so I should just be happy, dammit! But I'm still adjusting to country living. It's very different from what I've been used to all my life. I hate having to drive everywhere - hate it. I miss doing my grocery shopping on my bike and walking down the street to the library, running into people I know and stopping for a chat, deciding spur of the moment to extend it to tea or lunch or a playdate for the kids. We've met so many wonderful, interesting people here. But everyone is so spread out that it seems much more complicated to get together. There's a lot of scheduling involved and much less spontaneity. It's easy to go for days without seeing a friend.
After a year I thought I'd be used to that. But I guess it's just going to take a while.
So sometimes I have to remind myself why we're here. There are some obvious reasons. Montclair is outrageously expensive, and it's impossible to survive there on a single income. We were tired of the hectic pace, the traffic, the road rage, the noise. Here we're surrounded by nature, we can have Nick working at home and a garden and a treehouse and our dogs - all these things we love and enjoy and could never have in a place like Montclair.
But more than that, there's a magic to our lives here that's difficult to put into words. We see a little of it every day. We saw some yesterday. I was having a bad day, and Lucia and I decided to go to one of the day use areas close by. After riding our bikes around on the trails for a while we wandered down by the lake. There we saw a painted turtle in the sand. She was digging with her back feet, making a hole. She'd run one foot around in a circular motion, gathering and scooping the sand, then shoving it out behind her in a mound. Then she'd switch to the other foot. Slowly, diligently, over the course of twenty minutes, she'd carved out the perfect little cavity. We watched the entire process from just a few inches away. And then we watched as she laid her eggs, nine of them, wet white leathery, glowing yellow from the inside. We watched as she buried her eggs, smoothed the sand carefully with her dexterous feet, and returned to the lake, slipping into the water. We watched her swim away until the last yellow glint of tail had merged with shadow and reflection.
And all the while Lucia asked questions: How does a turtle attract a mate? Why doesn't the mama turtle stay and take care of the babies? How did a turtle evolve to have a shell?
And I felt a lot better.
After a year I thought I'd be used to that. But I guess it's just going to take a while.
So sometimes I have to remind myself why we're here. There are some obvious reasons. Montclair is outrageously expensive, and it's impossible to survive there on a single income. We were tired of the hectic pace, the traffic, the road rage, the noise. Here we're surrounded by nature, we can have Nick working at home and a garden and a treehouse and our dogs - all these things we love and enjoy and could never have in a place like Montclair.
But more than that, there's a magic to our lives here that's difficult to put into words. We see a little of it every day. We saw some yesterday. I was having a bad day, and Lucia and I decided to go to one of the day use areas close by. After riding our bikes around on the trails for a while we wandered down by the lake. There we saw a painted turtle in the sand. She was digging with her back feet, making a hole. She'd run one foot around in a circular motion, gathering and scooping the sand, then shoving it out behind her in a mound. Then she'd switch to the other foot. Slowly, diligently, over the course of twenty minutes, she'd carved out the perfect little cavity. We watched the entire process from just a few inches away. And then we watched as she laid her eggs, nine of them, wet white leathery, glowing yellow from the inside. We watched as she buried her eggs, smoothed the sand carefully with her dexterous feet, and returned to the lake, slipping into the water. We watched her swim away until the last yellow glint of tail had merged with shadow and reflection.
And all the while Lucia asked questions: How does a turtle attract a mate? Why doesn't the mama turtle stay and take care of the babies? How did a turtle evolve to have a shell?
And I felt a lot better.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Civil War Days
Growing up with a history buff dad I witnessed my share of Civil War battles. And having long ago embraced my nerd-girl identity, I have no problem admitting that historical reenactment is definitely my idea of a good time. So when I heard that the Ashokan Center would be hosting a weekend-long Civil War encampment I figured it was about time for Lucia to see her first skirmish. And as Lucia's read a lot this year about slavery, abolitionism, the underground railroad, and Abraham Lincoln, it was both fun and relevant.
The encampment itself was of course done with lots of detail and authenticity. We heard a doctor talk about the challenges of wartime surgery and we learned how to load and fire a musket. The reenactors take their roles quite seriously. However, we did spy one anachronistic Union soldier talking on a cell phone near the snack stand...
Lucia also got to try on some period clothing - a day dress in a surprisingly colorful and busy print.
And of course there were period crafts such as broom-making and tin-smithing. 
Here Lucia shapes the point on the broomstick, pulling a sharp blade towards her abdomen. My mother couldn't watch...
The encampment itself was of course done with lots of detail and authenticity. We heard a doctor talk about the challenges of wartime surgery and we learned how to load and fire a musket. The reenactors take their roles quite seriously. However, we did spy one anachronistic Union soldier talking on a cell phone near the snack stand...Lucia also got to try on some period clothing - a day dress in a surprisingly colorful and busy print.
And of course there were period crafts such as broom-making and tin-smithing. 
Here Lucia shapes the point on the broomstick, pulling a sharp blade towards her abdomen. My mother couldn't watch...
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Salade Grecque avec le groupe français
Coupe les tomates en quartiers et le concombre en tranches fines.
Ajoute de fromage feta coupé en cubes... 
et 1 dizaine d'olives noires.
Arrose avec 3 cuil. à soupe d'huile d'olive et mélange!
Bon appétit
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Independent Clause
Lucia likes to write long, intricate stories, but her writing hand can't yet keep pace with her ideas. So she dictates to me or speaks her story into a digital recorder from which I transcribe. Later we read the story over and talk about it. What sounds good? What sounds funny? How can we use language to paint a picture and to help the story flow?
Sometimes Lucia's sentences get really long and meandering, and we spend time separating out the ideas and thinking about how they fit together. So lately we've been talking about building sentences containing more than one idea. I've told Lucia that even if an idea can stand all on its own, even if it could be its own sentence, she can still join it with another idea using a comma and a word like and or but.
So it was extra adorable when I opened up my beautiful Mothers' Day card. Not only were there cute little heart people and a hand-crafted brooch, there was also the most wonderful compound sentence I've ever read - with a comma right in front of the independent clause!
Sometimes Lucia's sentences get really long and meandering, and we spend time separating out the ideas and thinking about how they fit together. So lately we've been talking about building sentences containing more than one idea. I've told Lucia that even if an idea can stand all on its own, even if it could be its own sentence, she can still join it with another idea using a comma and a word like and or but.
So it was extra adorable when I opened up my beautiful Mothers' Day card. Not only were there cute little heart people and a hand-crafted brooch, there was also the most wonderful compound sentence I've ever read - with a comma right in front of the independent clause!
Mothers' Day Hike
We went for a nice hike on Sunday at Kanape Brook during which I overheard Lucia ask Nick, "Would you rather work hard and achieve more or work less and achieve less?" Where did that come from?? Nick answered that it would depend, that some things are more important than others, but when pressed he had to admit that he is generally the type of person who works hard and achieves more. Lucia concurred but added that she also likes to work in spurts, focusing intently for a while and then taking a good long break.How's that for self-awareness?
Later, in an artful blending of science and mythology, she said, "Mama, after you die and your body decomposes, if some of your molecules go into a tree and that tree has a little bit of magic in it, you can be born again as a tree nymph from that tree."
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Sell It, Baby!
Quick, in ten words or less, explain why you homeschool.
It happens so often - a casual exchange turns suddenly to the topic of home/unschooling, and we’re asked to defend our lifestyle on the spot, succinctly, in the produce aisle, at the intersection, or with a mouthful of dentist’s tools.
It’s an impossible challenge. The reasons are just too many. I could talk all day about the racism and gender discrimination I’ve observed in schools, the hyper competitiveness, the emphasis on external motivation, the grading and ranking and judging, the destruction of innate curiosity, the stripping away of personal responsibility, the fear-based policymaking, the repression of individuality and the pressure to conform within a culture of consumerism.
But there’s no time for all that. So, my new ‘ten words or less’ is simply this:
Our values are not represented within the public school system.
And, since this is not the produce aisle but my blog where I’m free to rant and ramble for as long as I want, I get to expound with a good example. This is from a friend in Montclair whose daughter attends Rand, the elementary school where Lucia endured kindergarten:
“Also, tell me if this strikes you as odd or if I am just being a knee-jerk,
anti-culture freak: Lily's next book project is to read a fairy tale or
fable and then design a CEREAL BOX about it. It is to have character
"ingredients" on the side and a special name (ie; "Cinderella Flakes").
They are to design front of box as an ad. The back of box is to have the
details of the story (and I quote: "Remember, you are SELLING the cereal").
Way to go, Rand, twisting and trivializing a literary genre.”
Yes, this does indeed strike me as odd. How does selling cereal have anything at all to do with the study of literature? This assignment is in direct opposition to several of our family’s values.
Value #1: Literature is an innately valuable and worthwhile pursuit.
This assignment detracts from the innate artistic value of the literary piece by reducing it to a vehicle for merchandising and commercial gain. It encourages the children to read the story through the lens of its potential advertising value rather than for personal enjoyment or appreciation of language, plot, imagery, or historical context.
Value #2: It is my responsibility as a parent to protect my child from corporate marketing.
This assignment condones aggressive and manipulative marketing and encourages children to accept and respond to it. In an age where powerful corporations are constantly and insidiously targeting our children as consumers-in-training, shouldn’t teachers strive to create an advertising-free haven in the classroom? According to Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, “companies spend $17 billion annually marketing to children, a staggering increase from the $100 million spent in 1983” and “Children ages 2-11 see more than 25,000 advertisements a year on TV alone.”
Value #3: Food is for nourishment.
The assignment reinforces the dangerous view that foods should be purchased not for their nutritional value and wholesome ingredients but for their marketing appeal. The cereal box is obviously meant to be modeled on the kind of sugar cereals marketed so heavily and specifically at children with the use of cartoon characters, prizes, and other manipulative devices. Unless their parents are buying whole grain, high-fiber, low-sugar cereals, (and I’m sure that for many children in the class this is not the case) then a serving of “breakfast cereal” for children can contain as much sugar as a glazed doughnut. Some cereals such as Kellogg’s Honey Smacks and Post’s Golden Crisps are more than 50% sugar by weight. Froot Loops, Corn Pops, Rice Krispies, Cocoa Krispies, and Apple Jacks contain 12 grams of sugar, only one gram of fiber and 135-200 milligrams of sodium in a 3/4 cup serving. With the rates of childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes on the rise, do we really want these kinds of products making an appearance in the curriculum?
The teacher who came up with this assignment is not a bad person. I’m sure she was just looking for a fun and engaging project. But because her values are so different from ours, or maybe just because she was not thoughtful in her choices, she overlooked the negative messages communicated by this assignment. There are so many wonderful and creative ways to help children engage with literature. Why cheapen, toxify, and commercialize the experience?
Of course it can be argued that these sorts of experiences are a good way to develop a critical eye and awareness of manipulative marketing techniques. And yes, it’s good for kids to learn to navigate the many different aspects of culture, both positive and negative, that they’ll encounter in “the real world.” But I don’t think that was really the aim of this assignment. And for a family like ours, whose values so often clash with the mainstream culture, school would become one exercise in critical awareness after another. As unschoolers, we learn to navigate the real world in the real world.
Someone once told me that she found the homeschooling families in her community really annoying. “Like their kids can’t go to school like everybody else because they’re just so different and special!” she said.
Well, yeah, aren't yours?
In ten words or less,
Our values are not represented within the public school system.
If you really feel that yours are, then I guess you have nothing to worry about.
It happens so often - a casual exchange turns suddenly to the topic of home/unschooling, and we’re asked to defend our lifestyle on the spot, succinctly, in the produce aisle, at the intersection, or with a mouthful of dentist’s tools.
It’s an impossible challenge. The reasons are just too many. I could talk all day about the racism and gender discrimination I’ve observed in schools, the hyper competitiveness, the emphasis on external motivation, the grading and ranking and judging, the destruction of innate curiosity, the stripping away of personal responsibility, the fear-based policymaking, the repression of individuality and the pressure to conform within a culture of consumerism.
But there’s no time for all that. So, my new ‘ten words or less’ is simply this:
Our values are not represented within the public school system.
And, since this is not the produce aisle but my blog where I’m free to rant and ramble for as long as I want, I get to expound with a good example. This is from a friend in Montclair whose daughter attends Rand, the elementary school where Lucia endured kindergarten:
“Also, tell me if this strikes you as odd or if I am just being a knee-jerk,
anti-culture freak: Lily's next book project is to read a fairy tale or
fable and then design a CEREAL BOX about it. It is to have character
"ingredients" on the side and a special name (ie; "Cinderella Flakes").
They are to design front of box as an ad. The back of box is to have the
details of the story (and I quote: "Remember, you are SELLING the cereal").
Way to go, Rand, twisting and trivializing a literary genre.”
Yes, this does indeed strike me as odd. How does selling cereal have anything at all to do with the study of literature? This assignment is in direct opposition to several of our family’s values.
Value #1: Literature is an innately valuable and worthwhile pursuit.
This assignment detracts from the innate artistic value of the literary piece by reducing it to a vehicle for merchandising and commercial gain. It encourages the children to read the story through the lens of its potential advertising value rather than for personal enjoyment or appreciation of language, plot, imagery, or historical context.
Value #2: It is my responsibility as a parent to protect my child from corporate marketing.
This assignment condones aggressive and manipulative marketing and encourages children to accept and respond to it. In an age where powerful corporations are constantly and insidiously targeting our children as consumers-in-training, shouldn’t teachers strive to create an advertising-free haven in the classroom? According to Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, “companies spend $17 billion annually marketing to children, a staggering increase from the $100 million spent in 1983” and “Children ages 2-11 see more than 25,000 advertisements a year on TV alone.”
Value #3: Food is for nourishment.
The assignment reinforces the dangerous view that foods should be purchased not for their nutritional value and wholesome ingredients but for their marketing appeal. The cereal box is obviously meant to be modeled on the kind of sugar cereals marketed so heavily and specifically at children with the use of cartoon characters, prizes, and other manipulative devices. Unless their parents are buying whole grain, high-fiber, low-sugar cereals, (and I’m sure that for many children in the class this is not the case) then a serving of “breakfast cereal” for children can contain as much sugar as a glazed doughnut. Some cereals such as Kellogg’s Honey Smacks and Post’s Golden Crisps are more than 50% sugar by weight. Froot Loops, Corn Pops, Rice Krispies, Cocoa Krispies, and Apple Jacks contain 12 grams of sugar, only one gram of fiber and 135-200 milligrams of sodium in a 3/4 cup serving. With the rates of childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes on the rise, do we really want these kinds of products making an appearance in the curriculum?
The teacher who came up with this assignment is not a bad person. I’m sure she was just looking for a fun and engaging project. But because her values are so different from ours, or maybe just because she was not thoughtful in her choices, she overlooked the negative messages communicated by this assignment. There are so many wonderful and creative ways to help children engage with literature. Why cheapen, toxify, and commercialize the experience?
Of course it can be argued that these sorts of experiences are a good way to develop a critical eye and awareness of manipulative marketing techniques. And yes, it’s good for kids to learn to navigate the many different aspects of culture, both positive and negative, that they’ll encounter in “the real world.” But I don’t think that was really the aim of this assignment. And for a family like ours, whose values so often clash with the mainstream culture, school would become one exercise in critical awareness after another. As unschoolers, we learn to navigate the real world in the real world.
Someone once told me that she found the homeschooling families in her community really annoying. “Like their kids can’t go to school like everybody else because they’re just so different and special!” she said.
Well, yeah, aren't yours?
In ten words or less,
Our values are not represented within the public school system.
If you really feel that yours are, then I guess you have nothing to worry about.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Unschool Art
We are a family that enjoys art - making it, studying it, talking and reading about it. Art has always been a huge part of Lucia's existence, and she's often asserted her intention to become an artist when she grows up. Of course I tell her that she is an artist already, that she was born an artist, and that no matter what she does in life, she will do it as an artist.
We are lucky to live close to the most unschooly art school ever, Kathy Anderson's School for Young Artists. It's an open studio. The children are shown how to use and care for the numerous and diverse tools and resources available to them, and they are free to create and work in whatever way they choose. The teachers serve as mentors and guides. When Lucia arrives at class she is greeted by her teacher who asks if she has any particular plans for the day. Often she doesn't, but she is free to noodle around and experiment with things until inspiration strikes. She is never told what to do or how to use her time in the studio. The teachers offer feedback, technical assistance, and suggestions, and this is always done with sensitivity and respect.
These are photos of some of the projects Lucia's brought home from art class this year. As you can see, she particularly enjoys multimedia constructions. The hot glue gun has become her tool of choice.
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